Fear or Love? You Must Choose

Recently, I listened to a podcast episode where the hostess discussed living one’s life from a place of love, rather than from a place of fear.

This idea really resonated with me. In fact, it was quite a revelation to me. I began to consider my life and how I’ve approached new, let’s just call them episodes (like a television show). Each day can be considered a new episode – except there really are no re-runs, are there?

Like everyone’s life, mine unfolded with strong influences from my family. One parent encouraged me to try new things, the other warned against taking risks. These values play out in the choices and decisions I make in each new episode.

As you might suspect, life involves making choices about risk constantly. I’ve come to believe that how we approach risk results in either a sense of expansiveness or a sense of shrinking.

I have been approaching risk from a place of fear. I could be hurt. – physically or emotionally. I could lose money. Someone else could get hurt. Writing this spontaneously right now, I can’t actually come up with any other things to fear – it seems to boil down to staying safe and having security for me.

What if I change to an approach from a form of love – of self, of life itself? Taking a risk might actually lead to a sense of being alive, of excitement. Taking a risk might actually lead to more opportunity, more possibilities.

What if taking risks actually helped to develop self-efficacy (I can do this), self-determination (I will do this), deeper connections with others (by being open to vulnerability). What if taking a risk led to more resilience when the opportunity to face a new risk showed up in a future episode? What if I faced my fear?

Perhaps you’ve heard of Gabrielle Bernstein? She is an American motivational speaker, life coach, and author (she studied at Syracuse University, by the way). Gabby teaches from the text A Course in Miracles, and here’s what she has to say about fear:

“Fear of the Past
This world we’ve projected is based on fearful past experiences that our ego clings onto. Experiences of not feeling good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

We can relive these past experiences daily. Perhaps you were bullied in school. This experience of being attacked by others created a dark corner in your mind where you believed you weren’t good enough. As a result, you established a belief system in which the mean girls were better than you. As a result of the belief system you established, you were susceptible to being afraid of your female contemporaries and perhaps never found a true group of friends. The experience of being bullied at a young age gave your ego fuel to fire up a belief system based on separation, unworthiness and lack. By bringing the past into the present the ego stayed alive.

Fear of the Future
Once the ego has convinced you that the fear of the past is real in the present, it then hooks you into the future. Projecting fear onto the future is another way for the ego to control your mind. Future tripping is totally wacked out because the ego convinces you to project forward to attempt to control future outcomes. None of this is real. No one can control the future because it doesn’t exist. However, it’s a sneaky ego trick that will hook you into fear time and time again.

The ego’s sole purpose is to convince us that love isn’t real so that we believe in the fearful thinking of the world. The ego is always revving up its game to take us down in a major way. (This is not to be confused with the ego of psychology [Freud’s psychoanalytic theory].)”

I invite you to sit with those thoughts for a few moments… Let them percolate… Are you projecting past fears into the future? Are they holding you back from shining and thriving?


If life is made up of daily episodes, then it’s also made up of seasons. I’ve started a new season and one theme that keeps showing up is “getting clear.” As I continue to look for opportunities to clear out the old, the raggedy, the hurtful, the tattered, the stinky stuff, I’m creating space to learn new things, new ideas, new ways of being, new approaches.

One new approach I’m experimenting with is the idea that I trust the Universe. If I can practice this trust, what do I have to fear? Spiritual folks say that the Universe has our back. It’s safe to trust the Universe – it’s looking out for us.

So, why would I continue to live from a place of fear? It may not be necessary. It may not be in my own best interest. If one believes the Universe is love and that’s all there really is, why wouldn’t I approach each new episode and season with love?

As I continue to develop my InnerVision, I realize that bringing my business to life is an act of love. Writing this particular post is coming from love; I’m actively blocking my fear thoughts – that someone reading this may think I’m too “out there” or getting too “woo-woo” (because that may make them uncomfortable with who I’m becoming).

The fact is that I’m writing this post for me – it’s about me, not you (sorry). But if this post resonates with you, if you’ve been living from fear and want to reconsider, then give the alternative approach a try.

Join me.

I’ve also heard spiritual folks say that we’re all connected in some way, so why not join me? We’re already connected; we’re all characters on the highest rated television show of all time: Life.

sunset mtns girl fear - love

Like, share, and comment if you feel moved to do so. Thanks for reading and spending time with me.

Sign up for more from InnerVision TLC. You’ll be on the list to get the Shine & Thrive newsletter. As a BONUS, you receive FREE access to the Truth Telling workbook – designed to help you rediscover your truths and fight through your ego-based fears.

Read more from the Musings About Wellness blog.

Like InnerVision TLC on Facebook or follow on Twitter.